What life am I made for part 2

Well it's been a while since I last blogged.....

and a tough wee while at that :(. I failed miserably at my interview for Midwifery. Talk about verbal diahorrea when they asked me an open question?? 'Tell us about yourself", I watched from above myself as I spouted forth the biggest load of rubbish, realised, tried to fix it and only made it worse. It was horrendous. :( I was, as expected, rejected and advised to try again next year after getting help with my interview technique.

So I focused on applying to college to do a year's course in Complementary Therapies and reapply for Midwifery next year. I loved the idea of Aromatherapy, Reflexology, Indian Head Massage, Hot Stones, etc. These skills would enable me to provide treatments and earn an income when I get into Uni, or if I carried on as a Doula. I intended to then specialise further and incorporate Aromatherapy in to midwifery practice, if I went down that route, or add them to my skills as a Doula. Obviously, as I am not qualified I cannot offer Aromatherapy at the moment, but I do carry 4 essential oils in my Doula bag for women who wish to use them. Peppermint oil has been so beneficial to women who have felt nausea in labour, Clary Sage is one they love to try to co-ordinate their contractions. Two ladies have requested Lavender during their labours. I also carry Tea Tree oil in case anyone feels a need to disinfect their birth space.

The 'interview' consisted of a presentation to those of us on the shortlist, and us having to fill in a form. No one-to-one interview, and I wondered how they could possibly know anything about us from a mere form. Distraught, I find myself on a Reserve list, and as it's a popular course I fear I am not likely to be called up if anyone drops out. This probably wouldn't happen until the course actually starts either so makes applying for a bursary difficult..... I hate being in limbo, not knowing where my life is going. It seems that everything I plan and work for is not panning out. So, I tell myself that the Universe has something in mind for me and I will find my path.

And then, I sat my Higher in Human Biology...... what a disaster!!! I had been hoping for a reasonable pass, perhaps a high B, if results from course work, NABS and Prelims were anything to go by. But that exam?!!! I looked at the questions and so often I knew I knew the answer but could not retrieve it to be able to put it down on paper. It was so incredibly frustrating and disheartening. I'll be lucky to scrape a low C. Family and friends tell me that's still a pass, but it's a low pass and not good enough for me. Maybe this is why I have not got onto the courses I've pinned my hopes on?

I have attended Reiki I, and hope to continue to Reiki II when the Universe calls me. I jumped when I was offered the chance to do a HypnoBirthing Practitioners course, and have my first couple booked to start in a fortnight. I have also read the Secret, and found it so inspiring as I realise so much of what I'm drawn to seems to be linked in philosophy. So I cling to these positives.

I am happy, I am healthy, I am whole, I am harmonious, I am strong, I am woman!